As a professional sleep consultant, I hear the word “regression” used in connection with every conceivable situation. Basically, if a baby doesn’t sleep well for a few nights, the parents start throwing the “R” word. Some people have the idea that there are 8-month regressions, 9-month regressions, 1-year regressions, and teething regressions, growth spurt regressions, and so on. Others argue that these simple hiccups are caused by extenuating circumstances.

But there’s a good reason for the 4-month regression that everyone agrees on. It is real and it is permanent.

So, to understand what happens to your baby during this stage, you first need to know a few things about sleep in general. This is the scientific part, told in plain English.

Stages of Sleep

Many of us consider sleeping as on or off. Either you are asleep or you are not. However, there are several sleep stages that together make up a “sleep cycle,” which is happens over and over each night.

1. Stage 1 is that first stage we all know where you can just feel yourself drifting away, but not really feel asleep. Everyone who saw their partner nodding in front of the TV, told them to go to bed and got the standard response of “I wasn’t sleeping!” knows exactly what it looks like.

2. Stage 2 is considered the first phase of “true sleep”. This is where people once awake, start to realize they were actually sleeping. For anyone who takes “power naps”, that’s as much as you want to go or you’ll wake up sleepy.

3. Stage 3 is deep and regenerating. Also known as “slow wave sleep”, this is where the body begins to repair and rejuvenate the immune system, muscle tissue, energy stores and promotes growth and development.

4. Stage 4 is REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. This is where the brain comes in and consolidates information and memories from the day before. This is also the stage where we achieve the most of our dreams.

After going through all the stages, we either wake up or get close to waking up and start over until the alarm goes off.

What does this have to do with that infamous regression we talked about earlier?

Well, newborn babies only have 2 stages of sleep. Stage 3 and REM and half of their sleep is spent in each stage. But in the third to fourth month there is a reorganization of sleep, as they adapt to the 4-stage sleep pattern that they follow throughout their lives. When this transition occurs, the baby goes from 50% REM sleep to 25% to accommodate these first two stages. So, even though REM sleep is light, it is not as light as the two new stages they have become accustomed to, and the longer they remain in light sleep, the higher the likelihood of waking up.

This does not mean that the child should be prevented or avoided from waking up. Waking up is completely normal, and we continue to wake up three, four, five times a night into adulthood. However, as adults, we can recognize some comforting truths that are not really known by a child. When we wake up at night and think, “Hey, I’m here in my bed, it’s still night, my alarm won’t go off for another three hours, and I’m sure there are no monster lurking downstairs. my bed. I can sleep again”. We actually do.

Usually so quickly, that the morning after we don`t even remember the brief encounter with consciousness. Of course, a four-month-old baby has no such capacity for critical thinking. “Well, the last thing I remember is a familiar, loving face. I was having dinner and someone was singing. A sweet little song about a picnic with a teddy bear,” said the four-month-old, who was sleeping on his mother’s chest. Now I’m alone in this dark room, with no food, and at least three, maybe four, horrible monsters around me.

This may be an exaggeration, but who knows what goes on in the head of a four-month-old baby?

However, when a child suddenly realizes that mom isn’t around and doesn’t quite know where she went, the natural reaction will be to be a little scared. It stimulates a fight or flight reaction, then you know, the baby is unable to fall asleep without the comfort and assurance that everything is fine.

During the 4-month sleep regression, there are several contributing factors. One major factor is that parents have been assisting their baby's sleep through rocking, feeding, or the use of soothers. However, as the baby spends more time in light sleep, they begin waking up more frequently, causing a bigger issue. These sleep aids, or sleep props, can become problematic because without them, the baby struggles to fall back asleep unassisted. When this cycle repeats every half hour, it can be incredibly challenging for parents. However, the good news is that the term "regression" is misleading. It's actually a period of sleep progression for the child. So, for those experiencing the dreaded 4-month sleep regression, remember that your child is going through a developmental phase rather than regressing.

So, to the big question.

What can you do to help your child adjust? 

First, remove all that light from the child’s room. I’m not kidding here. Perhaps the child’s room is quite dark or the child does not like the dark, and you think that the light from the windows or the corridor is soothing.

No.

The child’s room should be dark. I mean some kind of coal mine in the dark of a moonless night. If necessary, stick garbage bags to the windows or cover them with film. (Be prepared to explain to the police when your neighbors accuse you of breeding.)

Babies and toddlers are not afraid of the dark. However, they react to light. Light tells their brain that it’s time to be active and alert, and the brain releases hormones accordingly, so we want to keep the baby’s room completely dark during sleep and nap time. Another antagonist of sleep during the day (and at night, although not so often) is noise. Even if the doorbell rings, the dog warns of squirrels indoors. As babies are easily startled by noise, a white noise machine is a valuable addition to the nursery.

“Wait, isn’t that a prop?” – you ask. Well, sort of, but it doesn't require swiping, resetting, changing positions, or active parenting. The white noise is simply present and remains until the baby falls asleep, making it an effortless and effective tool that should not be avoided.

A bedtime routine is also an important part of helping your child sleep well. Try to do a daily routine of 4 or 5 steps and try not ending it with a feed. Otherwise, there is a risk that the baby will nod to the breast or the bottle, and this will create the sleep “association” we talked about earlier.

So plan to keep the feed at the beginning and continue with the songs, stories and PJs towards the end. The whole process should take about 20-30 minutes and the baby should go to the crib while awake.

If you notice your baby making noise before sleep, you may have waited too long. Four-month-old babies should have only two hours between naps, and bedtime should be between 7-8 pm.

Now, in your son’s teenage years, there will be setbacks, real setbacks or regressions. Travel, illness, a toothache can all lead to your child having a few bad nights in a row. But when it comes to the four months of “progress”, I’m happy to report that this is a one-off. Once you do this, your baby will officially enter a sleep cycle that they will follow for the rest of their lives. Several times a night, the four stages are repeated. You gift them lifelong skills: independent sleep cycles without props, nursing, rocking, or pacifiers.

Of course, some children will take to the process like fish to water, and some will be a little more resistant. If yours falls into the first category, consider yourself lucky, enjoy your success, and celebrate it on Facebook.

For those in the second camp, I’m happy to help you in any way I can. Visit my website, email me or call me and we will develop a completely customized plan for your child. Client feedback after working together often includes the sentiment, "I regret not seeking help sooner!" Therefore, if you have been considering hiring a consultant, now is the opportune moment.

I offer a free 15-minute assessment so I can take an in-depth look at your baby’s situation, so call now and when you’re ready for your baby to sleep through the night, we can move forward!

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